Today
is very special. I’ve been bifurcated.
Sounds
like perhaps I’ve been cut in half?
If
you guessed that, you are close! Like chickens that live on once their heads
are gone, divorced people function much the same way. You can lose your head
and live on! Sometimes, people don’t even know your head is missing, especially
if they didn’t know you before.
In
all seriousness, because I’m such a serious person, I’ll tell you how serious
this situation is.
On
the yellow brick road to divorce, a bifurcation generally means one of two
things:
1) The spouse requesting the bifurcation is in
a big hurry to marry someone else ! Such a hurry that they cannot even wait for
the divorce to get finalized. So they “bifurcate” as a shortcut. But be warned:
these splitting and reproducing spouses come with several warning labels. If
you add water, like a swimming pool for example, they grow to epic sponge-like
proportions, sponging all your time and money.
2) The other reason to bifurcate is to buy a
house with the new lover. Quick! Hurry up! Best to do that before you
decide you really hate each other. Then you are more trapped when you try to
get out of that ill-fated relationship. In fact, you may still own your pre-bifurcated (like pre-fabricated?)
house although you’ve refused to pay on that mortgage for quite some time.
Accounting oversight?
So
get ready everybody, let’s do the BIFURCATION!
