Birth Date

For all my social angst, it turned out OK. Even rather fun actually! All my disparate friends really enjoyed talking and meeting each other. They told me so. Some people couldn't come, so the group size was manageable for me - I didn't have to escape to the bathroom, chug wine and text myself blog ideas from the commode. In fact, I even drank coffee vs beer so I was less likely to crash my new car.

I did inadvertently meet a GUY at the bar before everyone arrived. His name was Tom. Curse! He was over 40, never married and not gay. Apparently rich. Would rather stay home and read but was out to meet his married not-gay guy friend. Tom was surprised that within moments of meeting me, a barfly, pretty and all alone, I was the center of the universe and knew half the people in the bar. He ended up staying for most of the party and even taking pictures.

The regifts I received were cherished and appreciated. Nothing shiny and new, please. I’ve been there and I know the glittery doesn’t last.

While I may have aged 100 years in 2011 alone,
it still felt great to survive another year.

 YOU’RE INVITED!  LET'S CELEBRATE!

In the last 18 months, divorce has aged me 100 years. But in calendar years I'm only turning 43. Still young, right? Am I young enough to start over and still have a life????? Some days I wonder.

Please join me to celebrate the fact I'm still standing (and very much alive) considering I've been badly beaten in a custody war and survived a big bad car crash, to name just a few recent events. 

And have it too!

WHAT: DS's 43rd birthday!

WHEN: Friday, February 24th

TIME: 6:00 - 9:00 pm

WHY: Why not???? I'm usually in my PJs by 7pm on Fridays. But let's face it, we all need an outing from time to time!

IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS: If you insist on bringing a gift, I insist it must be a REgift. Seriously. Don't even consider spending money. I'd appreciate your castaways and giveaways so much more! And of course bring husbands, significant others, even kids if you can't get a babysitter. I love being around other happy couples. Really, I do.

Would YOU Date Her?

How’s this for the ideal date?

Unemployed, ex-convict, going bankrupt in a divorce case that will not end, kid kicked out of school, messy house, no time to cook or eat. As a result very tired and boney. 

 

(A few minor yellow flags never hurt.)

Between children enrolled in too many sports, too many carpools, job searching and attorney appointments – just not enough down time to date.

Yet some relaxation and overdue affection would do her some good.

This job pays great dividends that are revealed only upon acceptance.

Interested?

VD Date

Now that I’ve been alone for over a year, I get it. I get why people want to be alone.

Nobody to boss you.

You can make your own decisions, and they stick.

No one to tell you that you aren’t good enough.

Nobody to second-guess, criticize or condemn you.

Nobody to lie to you.

No one to answer to.

Just you! I mean me! Nobody else!

Not that I don’t miss loving, supportive collaboration. Parenting together. Knowing that there’s someone out there in the world who really cares about you. Who you can call if you get into a car accident, or get locked out.

And that’s just what girlfriends are for. No strings attached.

So when I think about VD, Valentine’s Day, or Vindictive Dating – I just say no. 

Only love, please. "I love me!" has a nice ring to it.

Room Mate Date

What could make for easier logistics than dating under the very same roof?

While some couples deliberate: When is the right time to shack up together? How long must we be dating before making the big live-in commitment? Have we passed all the appropriate tests? Are we at the right stage of life? Will I still be able to secretly date other people if I live with her?

I can easily advise on how to solve your dilemma. It’s like this: Find a roommate of the opposite sex who you find dashingly desirable, interesting, fun, trustworthy and practical. In other words, make sure the compatibility quotient is high. Then, split the rent. Splitting rent establishes relationship hierarchy of control, aka equality. Now, you have a built-in companion, confidante, dinner and movie date, and friend. An optional couch cuddler. A person to make sure you wake up alive every day.

Oh, but what to do when you get sick of each other? Easy. Go into separate rooms. Or somebody goes out for a while. Be sure to maintain other friendships. If necessary, have a fight while safely nestled in each other’s arms.

Overall, the roommate dating plan can cut through layers of relationship bullcrap with a single swipe. You did it. You took the plunge and didn’t overanalyze.

Now, just see if it all lives up to the living together thing.

PS This also works well with same sex roommates too if you are looking to pursue a sexual preference/gender conversion.

PPS It works best if the roommate is loving and caring and nurturing and empathetic and cute and smart and artistic and funny and kind and compassionate too. Avoid narcissistic aholes whenever possible.

Dessert Date

Every great date ends in dessert. And take that as you will.

This one was particularly nice. We had dinner. I was full. Dessert Date suggested…something sweet. He is sweet. We agreed to get something chocolate, like a piece of cake. Ended up sharing cannoli, wine and a cup of tea. Even better. Sat holding hands and gazing longingly into each other’s eyes. Holding each other across the table. Staying long after the restaurant should have closed.

 

Yeah, I may be dreaming. 
If I close my eyes and wish, will it happen again?

Such a sweet, sweet dream.