Holidates

I think the hardest thing about being divorced is the holidays. What? You thought holidays were already stressful? Oh no, my dear friend. You haven’t the faintest idea.

So your kids - YOUR kids - wake up on Christmas morning in another woman’s house. Her “Santa” traditions are impatiently explained to your confused children. Lavish, expensive gifts replace good ol’ fashioned parenting and intact families.

Your relatives are over 3000 miles away. And you are court-ordered not to travel out of state. So you spend Christmas Eve alone, hearing the loud, annoying clink-clink of wasbund and Botox Beotch’s dinner party toast, all the while trying not to wish too hard that your boyfriend will leave his wife.

Sound fun yet? It gets better.



There's a gaping hole in my life

Custody exchanges take place at McDonalds, in the pouring rain, 2 hours late. The police are called, and AAA has to jump start your car, which has died while you are waiting. The kids are hungry and haven’t eaten. You thought wasbund was a cook? Not anymore. It’s McDonald’s drive-thru for Christmas dinner!

Grave times

So if you thought your holidays were a wee bit stressful, crowds at the mall a bit too much, cooking taking all your time – have a go with me. I’ll trade places with you ANYTIME.

Hap Pee Holidates to you, too.